A Letter to My Children: Build Your Life One Small Step at a Time

Orhan Atabay  · 5 min read · September 10, 2026 

I originally wrote this letter for my children in October 2024.

It was meant to capture a few things I hope they will remember as they grow older: how they use their time, how they take care of themselves, what they choose to learn, the people they allow to influence them, and the kind of life they try to build.

Later, I realized that much of what I wanted to tell them could also be useful to other young people.

So I decided to share it here.

My dear children,

You have a long life ahead of you.

How you live that life—how healthy, happy, peaceful, productive, joyful, and fulfilling it becomes—will depend, to a great extent, on the choices you make along the way.

One day, when you are older and look back, you will want to feel that you did something meaningful with your life.

You will want to know that you left something of yourself in this world. That you learned, thought, created, contributed, and became the person you were capable of becoming.

You will want to be able to say:

I had a good life. I used my time well.

To do that, you will need health, knowledge, skills, and character.

It is never too late to become interested in something, to learn something new, or to start working toward a goal. You can begin at almost any age.

But the earlier you discover the things that interest you and begin learning and working on them, the more time you will have to grow.

Your interests may change as you get older, and that is perfectly natural. In fact, they often change as your knowledge of the world expands.

Never underestimate small progress.

The tiny things you do every day—things that may seem almost useless at the time—can accumulate over the years into remarkable knowledge, skills, character, health, happiness, and peace.

That is why I want you to begin tomorrow.

And no matter when you happen to read this, there will always be a tomorrow.

Take small, regular, consistent steps toward things that are good for you. Do not dismiss an activity simply because it seems too small to matter.

Study mathematics. Exercise. Read books. Read useful articles. Learn an instrument. Watch things that teach you something. Learn how the world works. Explore subjects that make you curious.

A single hour may not seem important.

A single book may not seem important.

Practising something for twenty minutes may not seem important.

But years of small efforts can completely change a life.

Believe this deeply.

And while you learn from what other people have created, remember to create things yourself.

Do not spend your whole life only consuming other people's ideas, music, videos, games, stories, or inventions.

Make something of your own.

Write. Build. Draw. Play music. Solve problems. Design things. Experiment. Think.

Create.

At the same time, protect your health.

Stay away from habits and addictions that can damage your body, cloud your mind, or consume your time and energy. Smoking, excessive drinking, drug use, overeating, and other harmful habits can become traps.

People sometimes begin doing something voluntarily and eventually discover that they no longer feel free to stop.

You do not need these things to live a good life.

Avoid them, and I believe that one day you will look back and be very glad that you did.

Do not neglect sleep, either. Your brain and body need it.

And make physical activity a regular part of your life—not excessively, but consistently.

Protect your time just as carefully as you protect your health.

Time is one of the most valuable things you have because, once spent, it cannot be recovered.

Be careful about people and activities that repeatedly consume your time without helping you learn, grow, enjoy life meaningfully, or become a better person.

This can include friends, teachers, relationships, endless television, hours of scrolling, or too much gaming.

Entertainment is not the enemy.

Rest is not the enemy.

Having fun is part of a good life.

But do not allow entertainment to quietly become your life.

Try to spend time with people who inspire you—people from whom you can learn something. People who are hardworking, curious, positive, thoughtful, and who value themselves, other people, and life itself.

Choose the people who influence you carefully.

And while you do that, never forget three things:

Respect, kindness, and empathy.

Do not just learn their definitions.

Think seriously about what they mean.

Practise them until they become part of your character.

You will give meaning to your life through what you do.

Try to have a positive impact—on yourself, on other people, on other living things, and on the world around you.

Try to become the best version of yourself that your abilities and circumstances allow.

Not because you need to be better than everyone else, but because one day you should be able to look back and say:

I did the best I could with what I had.

When the time comes to choose a profession, pay close attention to what you genuinely love doing.

If possible, pursue the subject that interests you most.

People often do their strongest work when curiosity keeps pulling them forward.

When you truly care about something, learning does not always feel like an obligation. You want to understand more. You keep asking questions. You keep improving.

Also learn to spend some time alone.

Quiet time can help you think, imagine, reflect, and create.

But do not isolate yourself from other people.

Being social matters too.

Build good relationships. Listen to people. Other minds can give you perspectives, knowledge, and ideas that you may never discover on your own.

Again, choose those people carefully.

And choose your teachers carefully too.

By teachers, I do not mean only the people standing in front of a classroom.

Throughout your life, teachers will be everywhere: professors, friends, colleagues, writers, scientists, artists, craftspeople, books, videos, and sometimes people you meet only once.

Learn from the best people you can find.

Finally, never forget that life is a beautiful and extraordinary gift.

You will have difficult days.

You will face problems.

Sometimes things will not happen the way you hoped.

Sometimes you will fail.

Sometimes you may feel lost.

Keep moving forward.

Problems usually have solutions, even when you cannot see them immediately.

You rarely know what tomorrow will bring.

But never lose your belief that tomorrow can be better than today.

With love,

Dad

October 2024

Victoria, British Columbia, Canada

Original article by Orhan Atabay. English version refined with ChatGPT.